Fall Break

Well, here we are at fall break. It begins today, but our break actually started for our family yesterday. That means I have my little darlings with me for the rest of the week. I actually love it, but it comes with its own challenges. I kept the kids home yesterday from school because they weren't doing well. Here is the health report:

1. Aaron had diarrhea and a sinus infection
2. Andy was playing on the playground at school and a hornet flew up into his shirt. It stung him on the torso and the back, and then fell out of his shirt and tried to sting him on his foot (because, of course, he had removed his shoes--which, by the way, we haven't seen since. Mental note: check the lost and found at school for Andy's shoes...)
3. Tommy has dry ice burns on his hand because he stuck his hand into the punch bowl of "witches brew" and picked up the piece of dry ice. (I have so many issues with that one, where to begin???)

Needless to say, we kept the kids home on Tuesday. Now it is fall break. Hooray! I just hope I can keep them alive long enough to send back to school next week.

On another note, Lilli is doing fine, but she has grown a fondness for art. This would not be a problem were it not for the endless supply of sharpie markers that she seems to have sequestered around the house. I am baffled as to where they are all coming from.

Dressing in our Sunday Best

Today was Sunday, and I guess it is okay to be blogging right now because the Sabbath is over! (although I should really get to bed...) Anyhow, my little 7 year old came in and announced very joyfully that he had actually dressed himself just right for Sunday. He looked great from where I was standing in the kitchen, but when he turned around I discovered that somehow he had actually put his white, button-up shirt on completely wrong side out. He had even done up the buttons. When I inquired as to how he accomplished such a feat, he replied, "I guess that is just the magic of Tommy. Are you impressed?"

Yes, Tommy. Your mother is impressed.

Also, notice the beautiful green apple sculpture that he has created whilst waiting for Mom to come downstairs. This particular piece of art was created using a strawberry stem picker and a melon baller. What a way to repurpose kitchen tools that would otherwise be what the immortal Alton Brown calls "unitaskers." Tommy, you are a pioneer.

Maybe someday I'll start a fashion magazine based on the quirky, whimsical sense of style that children imbue into the world. I would include their recipes, art, fashion, and feature their writing in articles. We could call it "Rogue" instead of "vogue" and then it would make sense that all the models look like a 5 year old applied their makeup.

So, as you can see, with that last musing I think it is finally time for me to sign off and go catch some sleep before my minions awake and begin to do damage with the new juicer in the kitchen before I have a chance to get up for the day.

TTFN

Are dream dictionaries really true?

So last night I had a very troubling dream. I dreamed my little Liliana (age 22 mos.) was asleep in her father's arms at the side of a pool. I was swimming in it with my boys and my husband put my sleeping daughter on the side of the pool and was visiting with his brother (I guess the whole family was at the pool???) Anyhow, she rolled over and woke up. She didn't fall into the pool, she saw that everyone else was jumping into the pool so she dived in and promptly sank. I was terrified and tried to swim after her and couldn't get to her. I woke up before there was any resolution to the dream.

I was busy telling my husband about this dream just this morning when he looked up the significance of drowning in some dream dictionary. Apparently I means that I feel I'm losing control of my daughter (which is true because she is definitely exerting her independence...) So, while he was busy telling me this, she walked into the room with her hair all wild (because she had removed the ponytail) and she had colored all over her face, hands, and legs with black permanent marker. She just smiled at me and said, "Hello."

Yes, I'm definitely losing control. However, I may have a Picasso on my hands.

Love for others

So, one of the big struggles I have as a mother of "special" kids is to help them feel compassion for others. It is hard for them to see that often what they want isn't what is good for everyone, and there is a time and place to be able to compromise. We have had family in town, and I have noticed that perhaps this something that all families struggle with.

Anyhow, tonight I had an epiphany. I was checking the weather forecast in Hawaii just for fun. They will have rain for the next few days. I actually caught myself saying, "serves them right because I'm stuck in UT."

Maybe I need to work on my compassion too.

Nordstroms Children's Sock Sale is Predictor of Good Grades for School Children

Nordstroms put their hand-linked-toe socks for children on their half-yearly sale this year. The socks are usually about $5 a pair, and are on for half price. I'm thrilled. Here's why.

1. I will be able to send my children to college, because I won't have spent their inheritance buying socks they can wear in their youth.

2. I believe I now hold stock in Nordstroms because of my past prolific sock purchasing, and now I can spend half of what I have spent in the past.

3. My children are able to conform to the norms of society by adhering to the suggested "sock-shoe" ratio outlined in the dress code of their school.

4. Sweaty, monkey feet. Enough said.

5. Their struggle with sensory integration is reduced dramatically when they can stand to wear socks with shoes.

So, my kids struggle with something called "Sensory Integration." Basically, we all have senses. We learn about them as children. There is sight, sound, touch, taste, and hearing. Those are the basic ones. There are also a few more that we often don't talk about. No, I'm not talking about ESP...I'm talking about some heavy duty, psychological definitions. The other "modalities" interact with the basic 5 senses. The two most interesting to me are "vestibular" and "proprioception." There are other modalities, such as the ability to feel pain, temperatures, etc. Even so, I usually group those with "touch" because they have to do with how things feel to us. For the sake of this little 30 minutes I have to blog, and because I'm no psychologist, I will only touch on the two that are most pressing to my family.

Vestibular is your sense of balance, from the Latin name, vestibule, for the space between the front door and the inner part of your house. In our ears, we have a space like this that regulates balance. Therefore, the "vestibular" sense is our sense of equilibrium when we are on our feet--because we are bipedal...most of the time.

Proprioception is roughly your sense of spatial awareness. The word comes from the Latin word "proprius" (or proprio in Spanish and Portuguese) meaning "self", and "perception" being the way that we perceive ourselves. So, it is how we see ourselves in space, or basically a very strong case for why I'm clumsy.

Okay, boys and girls, put on your thinking caps and fly your nerd flag for a moment. We are going to go under, swim deep, and stay down there for a little. Trust me, you will be rewarded.So, why do these senses matter? Well, we integrate our sensual experiences (not x-rated, I mean experiences with the senses) with each other to interpret our surroundings and to make judgments as to what we are doing. For example, we integrate our sense of smell and taste and interpret them together. We integrate our sense of sight with our sense of hearing to understand and have an experience. We integrate many of our senses as we interpret things in our lives. If we can't integrate our experiences, then we struggle to keep up with today's fast-paced, and overwhelming world.

When there is dysfunction in this integration, problems occur. My children struggle with SID, or sensory integration dysfunction. There are several types, but theirs mainly is about the inability to discern between sensory experiences and they become overwhelmed and shut down. That means that if their tag in their shirt, or seam in their sock, bother them, they can't focus on math. At the end of the day, if their chair feels to hard, they can't concentrate. They often are overwhelmed by noise if it comes at the wrong time, such as the sound of people chewing food or a movie theatre that is turned up very loud. If light is too bright to them, they can't handle it. If there is too much distraction around them they shut down. Many of these things are distracting to children all along, but neurotypical children learn to block these things out as they mature. My children are struggling with this.

Did I mention that the local ER knows my third son by name because we have had his head stapled and stitched up so many times? (struggles with integration of proprioception and vision)

To overcome this, we have embarked on a crusade to remove distraction. We began by buying underwear and socks that don't have a seam. We have moved them each to their own rooms, and given them space to work in and sleep in. We have put fans in their rooms, if they don't have a ceiling fan, to give them some white noise.

Sounds like we have "kobe beef" children, because we trip over ourselves to make their lives "just so." Other parents may see us as over indulgent in this aspect of our lives, but we are just trying to hold on and keep everyone up to speed.

In our house these socks are basically like cigarettes in prison.

E-children

I think that I have e-children. It is curious to me that if they aren't plugged in to some sort of digital technology, then they are "bored." I remember my childhood (and it wasn't really all that long ago) and we actually dug in the dirt, rode bikes, collected bugs and rocks, and walked to the 7-11 to buy hubba bubba and slurpees. My children feel that they might turn to dust if the leave the front door in the daylight. Maybe they are vampire e-children.

Here was my latest solution.

We cut down screen time to 30 minutes a day while the sun is out. I had put enabled restrictions on their ipods, and password protected computers in the house. I actually disabled the internet 5 out of 7 days a week on the family computer, but that did not work for obvious reasons.

With all of this, I still was coming up with them struggling. It was an awful fight, all the time, and I realized that my only recourse was to remove it from them. The more I restricted them, the less they believed that I had a reason. They only thought I wanted to punish them. I realized that what I really needed to do was to teach them self-control and balance in their lives.

As I have struggled to figure out how to balance the tech part of our lives, I have come up with a few solutions. If you work from home on anything, it involves a computer. If you work in any sort of office setting, you use a computer. If you are a student, you use a computer. We even study scriptures on the computer.

So, my new plan of attack? Embrace technology, and work harder on teaching my children how to cope with the bombardment and enticement that technology presents. This may seem daunting, and impossible. However, I have decided that I will live by these few rules regarding technology:

1. I accept that technology exists, and will be a big part of the modern world in which we participate. We are not cloistered monks. We must learn intrinsic motivation to keep ourselves unspotted from the world and its technology.

2. I do not accept that my children cannot learn self control and mastery when given a temptation. They can learn, and I will not give up teaching them until they mature enough to understand.

3. I will set up consistent rules for them regarding technology, and I will also set up real and natural consequences for breaking those rules. These rules will apply even if grandma or a babysitter are here. (or Dad...we'll work on that one.)

4. I will be kind, loving, and consistent in my dealings with my children so they trust me and my judgment, and will be able to come to me if trouble arises.

5. I will constantly monitor their usage of the internet to protect them.

6. I will teach them the rules of engagement in online forums, netiquette, ethical research, and balance between the e-world and the real world.

So, we are trying this for the next few weeks. Now that school is out for the summer, we turn our home into a little social laboratory and training ground. I'll post my progress on this every Tuesday. On Tuesdays my mom (grandma) comes and spends the day with my kids and I work. It is fun for them because they get a playdate with grandma, and I get facetime with my employees. Win-win. It is the day in which our grand plans don't always come to fruition because I'm not here to slave drive. So, its a perfect day to check in on how the conditioning of my kids is coming.

Viva el verano! (long live the summer!)

Scout Camp 2011

So, I sent my son to Scout camp last week. We are still feeling the effects of it. It was a wonderful opportunity, but I was a wreck leading up to him actually going. I was worried that they were going to:

1) lose him in the woods

2) not remind him to eat

3) not remind him to wear socks on both feet

4) let him fall into the campfire

5) misunderstand that he was totally lost in merit badge class and bring him home not having accomplished anything

Well, kudos to his leaders that he made it home intact.

He did...

1) ...get lost once--but not in the woods. They went swimming and then everyone hit the showers, and they left my distracted son behind--but a kindly staff member helped him to find his group.

2) ...struggle to finish eating with the group, but I sent him with snacks that he could munch on in his tent if he did get hungry--and that sustained him.

3)...remember to wear socks--the same pair every day for a week. (did I mention they could walk on their own by the time he got home?)

4)...burn his hand a little, but he used his first aid training to care for it.

5)...pass off the archaeology and environmental science badges, and two rank advancements--and the homework to finish 3 other ones.

He came home with what I thought was a suntan on his cherubic face. Upon closer inspection, I discovered that he was literally covered in enough dirt for someone to mistake his ethnicity and immediately sent him to the showers. He emerged, my smiling, pink-faced boy having had the time of his life.

He goes to spacecamp next week, and is thrilled. I'm not as nervous about him as I was before, and I can see that he did mature a little. Maybe it is good for our kids to be away from us so they can learn to appreciate what we help them to accomplish.

The one thing I wondered about was how he managed to come home with the 5 pair of clean underwear I sent him with--even though he did shower a couple of times...